Let's face it John McCain is seen by most people, whether you plan on voting for him or not, as boring. He lacks a certain charisma that is desirable in a Presidential candidate. To suggest that he has the charisma of a rock might be stretching the truth but not by much.

Yet he keeps imploring Barack Obama to hold hands with him across the United States and the World so that people can hear from both of them regarding their policies.

In my mind this would be a huge mistake. If Barack Obama chooses to, he can whip up a speech that will get those in attendance dancing in the aisles. He creates emotional fervor. His speeches can approach the intensity and passion of Martin Luther King Jr. He gathers crowds that would make the Rolling Stones proud.

Why on earth would he want to compete on the same stage with such a presence? He needs someone who can make him look good. Someone who can make him appear to be more energetic and lively than he really is. No I am not talking about Richard Simmons. He needs Ralph Nader.

Anywhere McCain goes, Nader should go to. I think in a past life Nader was a mannequin. If McCain would have Nader open up for him for all of his speeches it would make him look more like Mick Jagger than James Taylor. Think Sam Kinison instead of Stephen Wright. It would be genius.

Recently Nader gained some publicity when he suggested that Obama was trying to speak "white". The clips did not demonstrate Nader's ability to sway voters. He did however demonstrate the ability to maintain one tone at a very slow rate for an excruciating amount of time. I am not certain but I think he was trying to hypnotize me. That could be why my wife had to stop me from taking my clothes off in Wal-mart while clucking like a chicken.

If you could bottle his delivery and sell it, the makers of Ambien would be put out of business. When I was listening to the interview I was holding what had been my previously inconsolable six month old baby. By the end of the interview the crying had ceased and she was fast asleep. She even had a smile on her face.

I saw the interview a couple of times and I could swear that during certain portions of it that he stopped breathing or perhaps it was me that had stopped breathing.

Ralph Nader is an undeniably intelligent guy. After all he uses the word oligarchic in the interview. Seriously, Ralph? Oligarchic, did you say oligarchic? There will be more people vote for him in this election than knew what the heck he was talking about. More than half of all American's thought he was talking about a new dish at Olive Garden that involved olives, garlic and iceberg lettuce.

Ralph Nader should worry more about his ability to command a nation than his command of the English language.